I haven’t posted for a while because there hasn’t been a lot to say. I guess it’s patently apparent from my recent reflections that openly acknowledged Female Authority is not working in our relationship, so I’ve taken a step back.
V is obviously aware that I still entertain submissive obsessions but chooses to ignore them. And I’ve learnt to restrain from any reference to FLR, as hard as that is to keep in check.
Besides, V is far too busy studying and working to give any thought to my sexual fantasies....or to sex at all for that matter!
So I’ve settled down to my old ways – the days before I tried to initiate a female led marriage. I browse the internet, join chat groups, read other blogs and fantasize about relationships with other women.
If I’m walking the street, I’ll try to spot women I think might be dominant. Can you pick a Domme in the street? I don’t know, but some women certainly display that aura.
On Saturday night we had some friends over for dinner. I did all the preparation, cooking and cleaning up. Without wishing to brag, I was an excellent chef, maître d' and sommelier.
V didn’t lift a finger and it felt good to play the role of the dutiful servant. Throughout the night V treated me as little more than a staff attendant, virtually dismissing me as someone outside the social gathering.
On the whole, V still expects me to provide her with a high level of service. She still expects me to clean the house, make the bed, do the laundry, cook the meals and tidy up afterwards. She still demands a certain obedience.
I guess, in many ways V is indicating that she’s the head of the household, and she is demonstrating her authority over me. She’s comfortable in that role now – far more so than she was before.
The other day she said: ”It’s all well and good you doing what I tell you, but you don’t show enough self-initiative. I shouldn’t have to tell you to do the washing. You should think to do it for yourself.”
So, in some respects our marriage IS evolving into a Femdom relationship. It’s just that there’s no excitement in it, no sexual charge.
God forbid if I say it, but I DON’T FEEL APPRECIATED. Rather, I feel used and abused. Taken for granted. Ironically, there’s an unsettling analogy here with the commonly expressed feelings of those dutiful housewives in the 1950’s and 60’s. Interesting.
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Meeting the Needs of a Slave
I have recently joined a social fetish website called FetLife which which has some interesting discussion bulletins.
One of the posts I came across today was submitted by Kruella which I think is worth publishing. What do you think?
"Meeting the Needs of a Slave
By Mistress Norische
There are many things that a slave needs. Some think that a slave has no needs; that once a slave becomes owned he or she has all he or she will ever need. I beg to differ; I have found in my experience that there are several things a slave needs.
Communication. .. A slave needs to be able to communicate with their owner and to have their owner communicate and actively listen to him or her. A slave needs to feel as if what they have to say has meaning, and is important.
Service... A slave is like a well-made tool, to be used and used well. If a tool is allowed to set in a box somewhere unattended it will rust or become obsolete. A slave must be allowed to serve in order to sharpen his or her skills and gain experience.
Purpose... As with any individual a slave needs to have a purpose, a reason for his or her existence.
Structure... A slave needs to be surrounded by structure, order, and discipline. Chaos may lead to change and variety, but within the life of a slave it leads to fear and uncertainty.
Appreciation. .. A slave needs to know his or her efforts are appreciated and that he or she is needed. If a slave goes without this form of support then the self-esteem of the slave becomes questionable and hence his or her performance will suffer.
Discipline.. . A slave expects and needs discipline. This does not mean taking a strap to a slave if he or she forgets to end a sentence with Ma'am or Sir. It means the slave must know what is expected of him or her, know what is unacceptable and understand the consequences of any deviation of behavior or action. The worst discipline you can bestow on a slave is to not to allow him or her to serve, or to ignore him or her.
Safety... A slave must know they are safe. I may hurt my slaves but I will never harm them. A slave has the right to expect a safe, healthy environment…both physically and emotionally.
Respect... A slave must understand respect and in turn be treated with respect. As an individual everyone deserves some respect, a slave is no different. Just as the owner requires a certain amount of respect so therefore does the slave.
Honesty... A slave has the right to expect his or her owner to always be honest with them. To tell a lie is not only dishonorable but it also shreds the fine fabric of trust that is formed between a slave and an owner.
Trust... A slave must be able to trust his or her owner. This is achieved with time, knowledge and experience. Trust is something build brick by brick, but when that trust is broken those bricks become made of smoke and will not support a relationship.
These are the things that a slave needs. You notice nowhere did I state a slave needs a collar, a contract, scening, sex or money.
A collar is a symbol, it may represent ownership but there is no color in the world that can replace trust or safety. Hence while it may be a symbol cherished by all who proudly wear their owner's symbol, it is a want and not a need.
A contract is no more than a piece of paper, an agreement made between individuals based on a common goal. There is no contract that can keep a slave from leaving when he or she feels they are not needed or wanted.
Sceneing is something done for the entertainment of one or more parties involved. Some enjoy it; some do not. Never the less sceneing is no more important that buying a pretty new dress for the picnic, or getting the latest Harry Potter book. It is a luxury or a reward it is not a need.
Sex like Sceneing may or may not be present within a relationship. There are slaves that are specifically trained to be of sexual service. However, not all slaves are maintained for sexual reasons. Sex is option, not a need.
Money is irrelevant, while it does ease the mind of an individual. Money will not ease the mind of a slave; it is not about money it is about purpose and service, and appreciation. Money cannot buy pride; it can only buy things.
So as you can see the needs of a slave are not object, nowhere in the above list did I state a slave needs to be well dressed, hell there are many owners who don't allow the slave to wear clothing at all. Nowhere does it state that a slave needs his or her own room, a slave should be honored if he or she is given the privilege to sleep at the foot of the owners bed. It doesn't state that the slave needs to go tanning or get a manicure or go to the beauty shop once a week, these things are rewards not needs. It doesn't state that a slave needs to be able to use the computer, watch TV or play video games either, again these are rewards not needs, and again these are mere things… nothing can make a slave feel better than a simple acknowledgement. For the owner to sit the slave down and say, "With all the work you have done today getting ready for my guests, I honestly don't know what I would do without you." this simple statement will mean more to a slave than anything that can be purchase with money or plastic.
While they are quite simple, a slave does indeed have needs, and it is for the benefit of the owner to remember this and take care of all the slave's needs.
As with everything this is my opinion, take what you will and leave the rest. If you wish to contact me, my email address is Norisch1@mchsi. com . If you wish to see more of my work you may find a complete listing of all my writings at... [NorischesQuill] (http://groups. yahoo.com/ group/Norisches Quill/)"
One of the posts I came across today was submitted by Kruella which I think is worth publishing. What do you think?
"Meeting the Needs of a Slave
By Mistress Norische
There are many things that a slave needs. Some think that a slave has no needs; that once a slave becomes owned he or she has all he or she will ever need. I beg to differ; I have found in my experience that there are several things a slave needs.
Communication. .. A slave needs to be able to communicate with their owner and to have their owner communicate and actively listen to him or her. A slave needs to feel as if what they have to say has meaning, and is important.
Service... A slave is like a well-made tool, to be used and used well. If a tool is allowed to set in a box somewhere unattended it will rust or become obsolete. A slave must be allowed to serve in order to sharpen his or her skills and gain experience.
Purpose... As with any individual a slave needs to have a purpose, a reason for his or her existence.
Structure... A slave needs to be surrounded by structure, order, and discipline. Chaos may lead to change and variety, but within the life of a slave it leads to fear and uncertainty.
Appreciation. .. A slave needs to know his or her efforts are appreciated and that he or she is needed. If a slave goes without this form of support then the self-esteem of the slave becomes questionable and hence his or her performance will suffer.
Discipline.. . A slave expects and needs discipline. This does not mean taking a strap to a slave if he or she forgets to end a sentence with Ma'am or Sir. It means the slave must know what is expected of him or her, know what is unacceptable and understand the consequences of any deviation of behavior or action. The worst discipline you can bestow on a slave is to not to allow him or her to serve, or to ignore him or her.
Safety... A slave must know they are safe. I may hurt my slaves but I will never harm them. A slave has the right to expect a safe, healthy environment…both physically and emotionally.
Respect... A slave must understand respect and in turn be treated with respect. As an individual everyone deserves some respect, a slave is no different. Just as the owner requires a certain amount of respect so therefore does the slave.
Honesty... A slave has the right to expect his or her owner to always be honest with them. To tell a lie is not only dishonorable but it also shreds the fine fabric of trust that is formed between a slave and an owner.
Trust... A slave must be able to trust his or her owner. This is achieved with time, knowledge and experience. Trust is something build brick by brick, but when that trust is broken those bricks become made of smoke and will not support a relationship.
These are the things that a slave needs. You notice nowhere did I state a slave needs a collar, a contract, scening, sex or money.
A collar is a symbol, it may represent ownership but there is no color in the world that can replace trust or safety. Hence while it may be a symbol cherished by all who proudly wear their owner's symbol, it is a want and not a need.
A contract is no more than a piece of paper, an agreement made between individuals based on a common goal. There is no contract that can keep a slave from leaving when he or she feels they are not needed or wanted.
Sceneing is something done for the entertainment of one or more parties involved. Some enjoy it; some do not. Never the less sceneing is no more important that buying a pretty new dress for the picnic, or getting the latest Harry Potter book. It is a luxury or a reward it is not a need.
Sex like Sceneing may or may not be present within a relationship. There are slaves that are specifically trained to be of sexual service. However, not all slaves are maintained for sexual reasons. Sex is option, not a need.
Money is irrelevant, while it does ease the mind of an individual. Money will not ease the mind of a slave; it is not about money it is about purpose and service, and appreciation. Money cannot buy pride; it can only buy things.
So as you can see the needs of a slave are not object, nowhere in the above list did I state a slave needs to be well dressed, hell there are many owners who don't allow the slave to wear clothing at all. Nowhere does it state that a slave needs his or her own room, a slave should be honored if he or she is given the privilege to sleep at the foot of the owners bed. It doesn't state that the slave needs to go tanning or get a manicure or go to the beauty shop once a week, these things are rewards not needs. It doesn't state that a slave needs to be able to use the computer, watch TV or play video games either, again these are rewards not needs, and again these are mere things… nothing can make a slave feel better than a simple acknowledgement. For the owner to sit the slave down and say, "With all the work you have done today getting ready for my guests, I honestly don't know what I would do without you." this simple statement will mean more to a slave than anything that can be purchase with money or plastic.
While they are quite simple, a slave does indeed have needs, and it is for the benefit of the owner to remember this and take care of all the slave's needs.
As with everything this is my opinion, take what you will and leave the rest. If you wish to contact me, my email address is Norisch1@mchsi. com . If you wish to see more of my work you may find a complete listing of all my writings at... [NorischesQuill] (http://groups. yahoo.com/ group/Norisches Quill/)"
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