My want is to worship you, to serve and obey you, to always put your needs above mine. You are my superior. You are strong, intelligent, sensitive and compassionate. You are Woman and you are beautiful.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Pushing the Fantasy Again!

I’m back to my old tricks of trying to top from the bottom.

Things had been going great as outlined in my previous post.

But then I had to push things a little too far, didn’t I.

Harping back to my earlier fantasies, I tried to initiate a set of rules for her to enforce. I wanted her to control me but V isn’t interested in that type of relationship.

I wrote down a code of behaviour for us to follow. Needless to say, V wasn’t impressed!

I’d suggested that her opinions and interests should at all times have priority over mine; that her pleasure always overrides mine; that she decides our social agenda, she makes all the purchasing decisions – in fact all decisions.

I’m afraid I’ve set our relationship back. The strange thing is, V hasn’t said “no more”. She hasn’t insisted that we revert back to a vanilla relationship. I think she acknowledges that we’ll never go back to the way it was. She knows she’s now the boss, but she isn’t ready to extend the boundaries.

Despite this, we have set some basic rules which we aim to live by:

For instance, when I serve her evening meal, I am to present it as a waiter would in a restaurant. The table is to be formally set. I must pull her chair out and wait until she’s seated. I must then unfold her napkin and place it on her lap.

I then pour her a wine before serving the meal. Afterwards I clean up. Occasionally, as a special treat, she’ll have me place a dog bowl at her feet while I stand at attention beside her, replenishing her wine glass. At the end of her meal, she’ll empty the scraps into the dog bowl and invite me to have my dinner. “Lucky boy, aren’t you. Thank your Queen for making the effort to feed you. At times I enjoy equality – you serve me dinner and I serve you dinner.”

Unfortunately sex between us is becoming less frequent. She still allows me to masturbate myself whenever I want. The procedure is quite clinical. We sit on the couch together while she watches TV. I take my clothes off and she exposes her breasts. She’ll then say “ OK” which means I can begin to masturbate while she watches TV. Once or twice she might look at me, roll her eyes or express some form of distaste. Once I have finished, she’ll say “OK you can eat it now and then go and clean yourself up.” With that, she’ll put her bra and shirt back on, and that’s it.

I still get regular beatings if I do something wrong. The other night I made the unforgivable mistake of licking her pussy AFTER I’d licked her ass. From an hygienic point of view, it was a huge mistake!

Anyway, I’ll continue this post once I have more time. It’s been a long while since I last updated this blog so I thought I’d better make an attempt.


Anonymous said...

Maybe your pushing to hard, I know that I am all very new to all this, but it seems to me that the more you make this type of relationship about you, the more it seems to me that your wife is more likely to reject it. I have tried the same type of thing in the past, and got absolutely no where with my wife.

s said...

at all times is right, I feel.

I'm no better, but I am in tune with my bad habit of trying to direct my wife's dominance...and the more I try to direct it, the more awkward she feels...and the more she rejects my efforts.

We all want slightly different manifestations of female authority, I suppose. Some of us want to eat dinner from dog bowls. Others want to be whipped. Still others just want their wives to tease and deny a little bit. But whatever it is we want, we tend to want very, very badly...and this intensity perhaps drives us from what should be our common objective: encouraging our wives to become totally free. When we impose our own fantasies, we achieve exactly the opposite, don't we?

Thanks for sharing these events.

licking said...

As I have already indicated.
For me it seems that it is all about you. You focus to your fantazies too much. I feel from your stories that your wife does it only because of you and not because she likes it.
The last time you answered me that yes, but now your relationship works better.
Again -> Better from your perspective!

I am sorry for this open words. I do not want to hurt you.

What do you think? How long your wife can live in the relationship where she must supress her real personality and act a different one?

I am trying to say that you should introduce her to this type of relationship very carefuly. She already knows that you are a submissive. Let her go with her own pace. It should be hers who will introduce new D/s things in your relationship not you!
It will be much more satisfactory for you too.

Susan's Pet said...

I really understand the feelings that you have expressed, for I am experiencing a similar situation. I have been in a sort-of 24/7 FLR for close to two years. In your case, I suggest that you be realistic. Your partner will never see things exactly your way, except during a very few and special events that you will treasure. Therefore, you must either accept what she is willing to give to you, or give up and find other means to satisfy your needs, or to suppress them.
On the positive side, she is trying by giving you a view of her breasts, while you are supposed to "do your thing". It is a somewhat antiseptic scenario, but I feel that something in her background prevents her from participating, because she does not want to look like a slut. Try to be loving, caring, and reassuring to her that nothing she could do would make her appear as a bad girl. Try to communicate by getting her view of the FLR, as opposed to giving yours. Continue to serve her in other ways, and your relationship will improve.


whatevershesays said...

I agree with what at all times says. However, I wife led marriage doens't happen in a vaccum and she has to participate. Exsposing herself and rolling her eyes is not really participating.

subservire said...

Thanks to all of you for your thoughts.

There appears to be a common thread throughout - that I'm self-focussed rather than focusing on V, and I'd have to agree.

Unfortunately, my interpretation of female authority is quite different to V's. My needs for this type of relationship are certainly stronger, but as many people have said, this should be more about V rather than me.

Therein lies the rub - how do we both obtain fulfilment?

martin said...

I think your continual pushing of V will simply lead to her being irritated and bored and stopping altogether.

But then again what else can a sub do? A sub is hard-wired to push for deeper and deeper submission.

I think you are destined to lose what you have because it cannot ever satisfy you

Susan's Pet said...


I agree with you, but you must be more optimistic. The real tool that is useful is time.

Do not rush, do not push your agenda. Take time and care in implementing your committment. She will see it as something that is good for the both of you.