My want is to worship you, to serve and obey you, to always put your needs above mine. You are my superior. You are strong, intelligent, sensitive and compassionate. You are Woman and you are beautiful.

Monday, June 11, 2007

Jekyll and Hyde

A strange thing has been happening to my psyche over the past few days.

I don’t know whether I’m on-heat or whether I’m just sexually frustrated, but my lust or hunger to be dominated by V has grown hugely.

It’s more than just domination. I have a strong desire to be humiliated and subjugated by V.

I don’t dare confide my desires to her. I know what her reaction would be, but the craving is growing stronger and I can’t seem to get it out of my mind.

I’ve been searching Femdom websites – the more perverted the better.

And then I received a comment from Princess Kiki on my last post. That did it!

Her website is quite extreme and she had me in her power.

I’m not sure how to resolve these overwhelming desires – whether to give in to them and seek fulfillment on the web or to try and ignore them.

Maybe they’ll just go away in time, but then maybe not. I don’t want to become a sexual pervert; a masochistic fetishist infatuated with self degradation. But that’s just how I feel at the moment.

I’m becoming a Jekyll and Hyde and the beast is in danger of escape.


femelle dominante said...

Obviously I don't know your relationship with V, but if I were her I'd be upset if you didn't talk to me about it and instead fulfilled fantasies through the internet. I have read that you two were taking a break, and I truly hope that she will come around and realize what a gift you're offering to her.

I'd also like to say that it makes me happy that you said you're yearning to be dominated/humiliated by V as opposed to just dominated/humiliated in general.

Richard said...

I ride a similar crest of desire when Alexandra is out of the US as she is now. Though for me degradation is an accepted part of my sexuality.

It will always be tougher when your libido is high. About the only thing I can think to suggest is to masturbate aggressively and regularly. That won't make it go away but can diminish the pressure a little