Last night V and I were watching a movie (the original Stargate) in which there was a group of slaves. I made a comical remark that I wouldn’t mind trading places with them.
V said: “That’s what I don’t get about you. You’re nothing like a slave. At work you’re the boss and you love the power. You get off on power. Even at home you want your own way.”
“But work’s different,” I said. “Of course at work I have to make decisions. I’m always making decisions, but at home I don’t want that responsibility. I think it’s because I have so many responsibilities at work that I want to relinquish responsibility at home.”
“It’s not in your nature to be a slave,” said V. “That’s why I have such difficulty accepting that fantasy of yours. I can’t get into that mindset because you’re not a slave. I don’t want a slave. I want the man I married. The one who is capable of making decisions.”
“But you like it when I serve you,” I said. “You like me pandering to you – cleaning, washing, cooking, massages and all that. In that sense you’re happy for me to be a slave. In fact, you want me to do what you tell me to do. You don’t like me answering back and when I do answer back, you get mad. So make up your mind. What do you want from me?”
“Yeh, sure I like it when you do nice things for me. And I like it when you clean up around the house. But you’re not a slave. And besides, it’s not slavery we’re talking about. Its sexual slavery which is quite different. I don’t like the thought of being a dominatrix, wielding a whip, criticizing you, berating you, humiliating you. In fact, it’s the humiliation which repels me most. I love it when you do nice things for me. But I want you to do them because you love me, not for some sexual favour in return.”
“OK,” I said. “I can see your point. Let’s not go down that path 24/7. But when we have sex, can we still enjoy Femdom role play? It’s something I feel I need.”
“Sometimes I enjoy it,” V said. “But often I like normal sex. I don’t want role play to be the only way we do it. I don’t think you can get off unless I’m dominating you sexually and that worries me. It scares me.”
“But when you whipped me the other day, you really enjoyed it. In fact I still have the welts. You went hammer and tongs. You really got into it.”
“That’s because you deserved it,” she said. “As I said, I enjoy it sometimes and when I’m mad at you, I do like punishing you.”
“So we’re both enigma’s. I think we’re almost compatible, but you have a fear of being a dominant. Why not let it out? Why not express it in ways you’re comfortable?,” I said.
“Oh, for Christ sake, go and make me a cup of tea. And I want a back massage tonight. Now lets get back to the movie.”