V and I were due to have a “play session” last night.
It’s been a long time since we’ve had any sexual activity, partly because our lives have been so hectic lately.
Our usual play sessions (on the rare occasions we have them) involve heavy discipline using a cane or leather paddle, ass worship and golden showers. On the last occasion this was followed by masturbation and then me licking it up.
I was looking forward to this session, although I could tell V wasn’t so enthusiastic.
Prior to me raising the topic of FLR with V late last year we used to have these play sessions about once every two months. In between, during weekly intercourse, she would “talk dirty” to me – calling me a sissy, referring to my “small cock”, suggesting she needed a “real man” and that I should “watch in the corner” while he satisfied her.
These comments were designed to push my buttons – and they did.
Since I’ve tried to introduce a FLR lifestyle to our marriage, these play sessions have all but dried up. Sex is also much less regular. In fact, we haven’t had sex for more than two weeks. When we do, V is less inclined to “push my buttons”. She no longer gets into it at all.
So, generally speaking, you’d have to say the introduction of a FLR into our marriage has been a dismal failure. Things are even worse now than they were beforehand.
Which brings me to our play session last night. V understood my needs were exploding. She agreed to a session after dinner.
Dinner came and went, then she decided she wanted to watch a program on TV. By 10 pm I could gather pretty clearly that nothing was going to happen.
When I raised the topic, she said she was too tired. When I pushed her to expand, she said my submissiveness turned her off. She was no longer interested in it.
When I argued the point, she said she had no problem with me exploring this fetish outside the marriage. In fact, she encouraged me to go and visit a Domme or to go to a BDSM nightclup and find a suitable companion.
Did this mean she was encouraging me to have an affair? She said that if that’s what I need, then she won’t stop me. She understands my needs but she can’t provide for them.
This morning I left for work early. We haven’t had a chance to further explore last night’s discussions, but it seems the dynamics of our relationship are changing, and I don’t mind admitting I’m more than a little anxious.