My want is to worship you, to serve and obey you, to always put your needs above mine. You are my superior. You are strong, intelligent, sensitive and compassionate. You are Woman and you are beautiful.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Wifeless Led Marriage

It's been a horrible night.

I mentioned to V I wanted to be the "wife" in our marriage. She totally flipped.

Now she wants a separation.


helpmate hubby said...



Polyfetishist said...

My heart really does go out to you and to

Even naturally dominant women spend months, even years growing into the role.

Lady Julia said...

I hope things are better. My thoughts are with you.

cagedone said...

Hi Subservire,

You really need to re read your own post "My Mistake", once you have read that, read it again.

Your wife was telling you something loud and clear.

She is prepared to embrace your desires if it is presented to her in a way that demonstrates that you are doing it for her, not because of a fetish you have.

I think also you should also read my "submissive dog post" I actually wrote that in part because of what I had read into what your wife was saying and what i had observed in Sarah.

Most women, wives and maybe even dommes want you to submit to them BECAUSE YOU LOVE THEM UNCONDITIONALLY and NOT because of a selfish fetish to be dominated by a woman.

I have come to understand that Sarah (but Sarah is not every woman granted) does not want me to be a slithering wimpering submissive, she wants a man who is strong, and yet will bend to ANYTHING that SHE WANTS me to do, but it is ONLY HER and NOT women in general that wields this power over me. This is what makes it special.

What excites me is when Sarah CHOOSES to weild this power over me, when she chooses to ask me to demonstrate to her how much I love her. Although admittedly Sarah is not really good at doing this yet, but I understand the mechanics, I also understand what turns her off.

Obviously there are some dommes who like nothing more than a man slithering around licking her toes, Sarah is not one of those, but if she asked me to, I would do it, if she asked me to do ANYTHING I would do it when I am in a submissive mindset (like caged I am).

I know it can be frustrating waiting for those moments but they do come. As Polyfetishist says it can take years for the role to grow, its so tempting to try and push it, I have sure been guilty of it, still am, but fortunitly Sarah is still playing, but she is now playing by her rules. I will still make sugestions to her but in a non confrontational way, show her a artical, even write it myself and present it to her at the right time. But its always up to Sarah to choose, I just let Sarah know that I get a real kick out of it when she asks me to do something Special or unusual for her. And she does this from time to time, I even think she is starting to tease me a little when i am caged...woo hoo.

Your wife sounds like she wants something similar to Sarah, she wants a man but a man who is prepared to do anything for the woman he loves. She wants you to make her feel special, but she also wants you to be a man.

Going forward, you have to back right off, but first you have to applogise to your wife, you need to explain that you understand why you have made her feel unloved and uncherrished and nothing more than a vehicle to satisfy your own fetish.

Then you need to tell her that your prepared to stop all talk and all behaviour pertaining to submissivness until such time that she decides what she wants you to demonstrate your love for her. And that in future you will ONLY DO WHAT PLEASES HER and whatever THAT is will be a demonstration of your love for her, simply because making her happy is the SINGLE and MOST IMPORTANT thing in your life.

She already knows you will do anything for her, in my case the limit of Sarahs demands are endlessly long massages, occassional deliberate butt movement against my cage, which is fine, I wish she would edge me, tease me, take me up the butt, but unfortunitly none of these things seem to interest Sarah, they don't turn her on!! but I can't keep banging her head against these activities/mindsets or she will end up telling me to piss off!! Keep looking at what you have, you are very lucky to have a wife who is open minded enough to do the things she has done with you, but in this instance u have overstepped the mark.

Now you need to focus on what is important, what your domme wants, and what makes her happy, even if it means NOT doing what YOU want.

Sorry for the lecture, I probably have no right, lol

subservire said...

Thank you all for your considerate words.

Cagedone, of course you are right. The crazy and frustrating part of it is that I know it. I have always known it, but I keep overstepping the mark. I'm impatient and it's my impatience and lack of self control which is damaging any prospect of moving forward.

Unlike your relationship, I guess the dilemma for me IS the fact that V has been prepared to take things further than a lot of other women. Then I get excited and hopeful. I believe she's ready to move forward. But then I overstep the mark and V pulls right back.

I simply have to learn to let V guide our relationship. She obviously knows which direction I wish to take it, so it's not that she's ignorant to my desires.

She'll develop our FLR if she chooses to. It's in her hands entirely and that's as it should be.

AlphaMaleforV said...

Tell V to come get with a REAL MAN like me, who doesn't mind being the man.