My want is to worship you, to serve and obey you, to always put your needs above mine. You are my superior. You are strong, intelligent, sensitive and compassionate. You are Woman and you are beautiful.

Sunday, February 25, 2007

Sick Thoughts

As I mention previously, V and I had a major argument a couple of weeks ago which nearly resulted in separation.

At the time, despite all the mental anguish, I couldn't help thinking what I would do if V actually left me.

What if she lost respect for me as a husband, could she then find it easier to accept me as a slave; abase me, deride me but still use me for her own benefit?

If we were no longer married, there'd be no need to respect me. We wouldn't have an emotional tie. Our relationship would no longer be based on love and respect. In fact, she might be vindictive enough to use me as a slave.

V is a lousy cook. She's also got used to me being a houseboy. In fact she enjoys me doing all the house duties.

Would she allow me to serve her if we were no longer married? What would I do? Would I abase myself completely, throw myself on her mercy and beg to serve as a slave rather than a husband? To what level of degradation would I stoop?

As frightening as it was to contemplate that V might actually leave me, there was a perverse excitement that she may still allow me to serve her. I was sexually stimulated by the thought.

What a debased individual I am!


Danny said...

Not to burst your bubble but I'm guessing if you are divorced she will not want you around for any reason. She will more likely want to move on with her life. Sorry.

saratoga said...

Hard to tell. She might use you while she sought another submissive, then dismiss you upon finding one.

These sorts of extreme thoughts are not lost on me, in terms of how males with submissive tendencies can easily talk or think themselves into situations of abuse- regardless of how unhealthy the situations may, in fact, be.

helpmate hubby said...

i hate to say it but i have to agree, thats probably not the way it wold work out, although i admit it is a hot fantasy! We all have them so don't feel weirded out by it, i dream of my Wife cuckolding me with a man all the time, but it probably won't happen and might be a bad thing if it did!

Mistress Laura's boy said...

I have to agree with everyone else here about the real-life issues...

However, I completely share your fantasy. :-)

My sick hot fantasy is that she orders me to divorce her and basically give up all my rights and all my property with a very one-sided Marriage Settlement Agreement. She tells me that I will no longer be sleeping in her bed by default, but that if I want to continue to be her slave, I need to prove it to her. When I ask her what I need to do, she takes me to a tattoo artist and has "Mistress Laura's property" tattooed across the small of my back. From that day on, I am nothing but her property.

saratoga said...

Yes, I think all of these comments, and the original post, reinforce what a powerful, addictive activity alternative lifestyle submission to a powerful Woman is.

As I wrote in my post on love, mental health and FemDom, a few weeks ago, FemDom has the potential to heighten the 'mental illness' that is human emotional reaction to being 'in love.'

I think being in trusting, lustful submission to a Woman unleashes all these powerful desires to exist only for Her and Her benefit, as if in some private world of total slavery.

In fact, from conversations with almost every Female Dominant of my acquaintance, none of them truly want a total doormat like that. Most quality, worthy Women want a companion with high self-esteem. Otherwise, it's no fun to dominate him and humiliate an otherwise self-respecting male.