My want is to worship you, to serve and obey you, to always put your needs above mine. You are my superior. You are strong, intelligent, sensitive and compassionate. You are Woman and you are beautiful.

Wednesday, February 21, 2007


V and I have had some fairly indepth discussions over the past few days and, while we’ve resolved our differences, the dynamics of our FLR have been moderated somewhat – at least for the time being.

There was a misunderstanding when I told V I wanted to be the “wife” in our relationship.

Her assumption was that I wanted to dress as a woman, wear high heels and a frock. This wrongful interpretation took her over the edge. My use of the word “wife” related to my desire to assume the home duties of cooking, cleaning etc and for V to formally acknowledge her role as the person in charge.

I’m mentally drained. We both are. I certainly have no sexual energy which is probably just as well because we’ve agreed to step back a little and to resume more of a conventional married relationship. Femdom play is on the backburner. No more requests that she dominate me. No more expectations on my part.

I think our recent argument has brought us closer on an emotional level. It’s often good to clear the air and to make up – to reaffirm our vows of love and commitment.

If there’s one thing which is abundantly clear to me now, it’s the undeniable truth that topping from the bottom DOES NOT WORK.

For anyone interested in pursuing a female led relationship, please listen to me when I say don’t push too hard. Let things progress slowly. Follow your Mistress’s lead. She’ll find her comfort zone within her own good time. Don’t attempt to make your fantasies your reality. The two are very rarely compatible.

Should you find a woman who is prepared to let you serve her, pamper her, spoil her and indulge her, you are a very lucky man! Don’t expect more. Don’t seek more. The fantasy world of the Dominatrix is extremely rare.


cagedone said...

Good to hear, gawd you must have been writing this as I was writing my other reply....too funny

Very glad to hear it worked out.

Bonnie said...

I'm glad to hear things are being discussed and that your both trying to find your feet and balance out your lives.

you've given some great advise to others...SLOW DOWN..DON'T PUSH !!!
for some women it takes years (some decades) to find their feet in a Femdom or FLR relationship. she is still with you.. thats a good sign, shes open to the ideas the lifestyle can bring...Leave it up to her now. some women run with the idea, some walk, some like to sleep on it....what ever happens I wish you both luck.
Collar N cuffs

Andrew Landers said...

I can quite understand V getting cranked up with the vision of you as a transvestite. My wife would have the same abhorance. We males and females are still stuck with an oldfashioned vision of being a wife. I faced the same semantic problem in a recent post. It read, in part:....

I am now playing the role of wife, to my intelligent, active, beautiful wife.

Using the term, "The role of wife" of course shows how old fashioned I am.... what I meant is, I am playing the same wifely role that Angie played for me in the early years of our marriage.

Will it soon become the norm to call this role "husband's role"? It will if more women wake up to the realization that it is a great lifestyle for them and there are an awful lot of guys out there who would love to have the submissive, serving, worshipping role.

Glad that V has come to terms with your slip of the tongue. You are not alone.

Andy at

saratoga said...

Given your prior posts, and your feeling that your wife has been far more tentative than you in this endeavor, is it possible that what happened involves a presumption of intimacy that was not there?

I don't wish to be judgmental. That's not how I intend my comment.

Rather, as I've written on my blog some time ago, I sometimes wonder whether a male who is sure of his submissive feelings and wiring, approaching his wife/partner about FemDom without knowing her reaction, or being concerned by it, is not implicitly aware that his level of intimacy with her is not yet at a level to sustain an admission of this depth and intensity?

It sort of echoes your 'go slow' comment, but with a sense of what indicator in the relationship would help one gauge when more or total honestly will be accepted non-judgmentally.