My want is to worship you, to serve and obey you, to always put your needs above mine. You are my superior. You are strong, intelligent, sensitive and compassionate. You are Woman and you are beautiful.

Thursday, January 4, 2007

Sometimes You Have to Fight

I know I’ve said you shouldn’t “top from the bottom” or push too hard when you’re first exploring a Female Led Relationship.

But I’ve found sometimes you have to “fight” for what you believe in.

Sometimes you have to “push hard” to progress this lifestyle if your partner is hesitant.

V and I had a huge argument after the kids went back to their mothers. I wanted to resume where we’d left off. V wanted to tone things down.

I said: “You’re happy for me to do all the housework but I need some ongoing motivation. I need you to acknowledge our FLR but you don’t say or do anything to encourage me. You haven’t even bothered to read anything.”

Whenever I said how much I enjoy serving her, how fulfilled I am, how natural this seems or how contented I am in serving her, she just responded with ”that’s good, so you should.” That’s as encouraging as it got.

Now, I know a lot of people are going to say “So what. It’s not about what you want. It’s about pleasing her. It’s about what she wants.” And that’s true. But in this early stage of our Femdom relationship, I’d like a little encouragement.

On the day we had the argument I’d been working my ass off doing all the shopping, running her errands, cleaning the house, including dusting and polishing. Then the bathrooms. Then the laundry. I made her breakfast, lunch and dinner. V slept during the day, read magazines and that’s about it.

That’s fine. I really got into serving her. I was in a great mindspace. I said to her “this is the way I always want it to be. I want to be your servant. I want to do as much as I can for you. The more I can do, the better.”

I’d just finished giving her a massage. At the end of it she said “don’t expect anything more. It’s just a massage, nothing more.”

I said “That’s OK. It’s up to you when I get any sexual relief. In fact, I haven’t masterbated for two weeks now.”

“Why’s that?” she asked.

“Because I don’t feel I should unless you allow me.”

“Shit, don’t tell me I have to do that for you as well,” she said.

“No, I’m just saying I don’t want to cum unless you agree.”

“Look, I don’t want to have to make all the decisions. Don’t put that on me. You’re taking this too far,” she said.

“You don’t understand this thing, do you? You don’t understand what Femdom is. If you’re honest with yourself you’re not really into this, are you” I said.

“Not to that extent. I don’t want to tell you when you can cum.”

With that, I stormed out and went to visit a friend where I stayed the night.

The next morning V rang me. She was in tears and I felt ashamed of my behavior. I went home and we made up.

V then said she would try harder. She said she’d try to read Elise Sutton’s book. She said she enjoyed me doing things for her but she didn’t know how to act or how to respond.

We both expressed our love for each other and I then started busying myself with the cleaning up etc. V picked up Elise Sutton’s book and began to read.

After the preface and introduction she began skimming through some chapters. She said so far she found it interesting and informative, being written from a female point of view.

That night, V told me I’d done a great job around the house and that I’d been a good servant.

I thought I’d go for broke and push things a step further. I drew up a list of motivations which required no effort on her part and I then presented it to her.

This is the list I wrote:

• Remind me regularly who is Superior

• Make me confess my place in the marriage

• Write lists for me to do to please her

• As a treat if I do a good job, show me her breasts, bottom or pussy

• If I do a really good job, allow me to lick her bottom or agree to piss on me

• Provide little encouragements like “Good pet”, “Good servant” or “You’re job is to please your Superior”

• Say “Who’s needs are more important?” if I seem reluctant or selfish

• Insist that I thank her for allowing me to do things for her

• She’s never to thank me

• Allow me to bathe her

• Allow me to go down on her (but only allow me to orgasm if she says so. I want her to control my orgasms. I want her to own them)

• On occasions, allow me to sit at her feet, to be her footstool while she reads or watches TV

• Regularly discipline me (Maybe set aside one night every week to appraise my performance).

I asked her if she felt uncomfortable with any of these requests. She said she could handle them.

So, you see, from a major argument where I topped from the bottom, I think I was able to push things along quite a lot.

Now we’ve moved into a new phase. I think it was worth it!


Byron said...

I am very happy for you.
It seems like you are on the right track!!

How did you first approach you pee fetish? That is something that I crave but do not have the guts to talk to my wife ABOUT...

subservire said...

I approached the subject of golden showers with V a few years ago. We'd been enjoying the odd D/s sessions mixed with vanilla sex. On one occasion during sex, I asked her to pee on me... and she did.

We then spoke about it. I said it was the most intimate thing she could do for me, and for me to drink her urine was the most intimate thing I could do for her. V understood and feels the same. We still both believe that.

There's nothing closer between two people. There’s nothing more intimate – even intercourse. For me to drink her pee shows my absolute adoration for her.

In some ways it seems to me like a symbol of my total devotion, and V sees it that way as well.

Despite all her other hangups, she's never had a concern about pissing on me or letting me lick her bottom. We both feel very close with one another during those moments. It's her personal gift to me.

Laura said...

You shouldn't be telling her how to Dom or giving her instructions from some book. That's like telling her what to think and what to feel, telling her who she should be. Being a Femdom is not something out of a text book. It should be really personal and individual. Let her do it her way rather than push her to be some kind of robot Domme to suit you. She has to suit herself and her own style first.