For the past week, Wife led moments have been rare. Or I should say Femdom moments have been rare, because the two are quite different.
I think it’s correct to say I am now constantly in a wife led marriage. Femdom is more in MY mind and the fantasies of a femdom relationship are quite different from reality.
However, for the most part, it’s life as usual. Submitting to her in small ways seems to be a good and practical goal. In reality, I think it’s as far as I can extend this type of relationship for now.
I’m coming to the realization that those special occasions when she tells me to do something which is counter to what I’d normally do, are very precious and all that I need to be fulfilled.
Of course my fantasies are still important to me. I need to be controlled, but for now that’s a state of mind which I can delight in privately.
I’ve conditioned myself to comply with any request she may make, perform any task she may set, accept her judgment above mine and, most importantly, not expect any reward.
I won’t deny that it’s hard to maintain this attitude even though there’s little or no reciprocation. Of course I like her to acknowledge my submission, and naturally I’d like her to initiate some Femdom elements.
I appreciate the work she’s put in, the way she’s accepted my submissive desires even though she didn’t wish for this new dimension to our relationship.
But the fact is, I am a submissive. I need to be controlled by my wife. That’s a major part of who I am and that won’t change.
I remind myself that this is the life I’ve wanted to live. I’m very fortunate because now, after all these years, I AM living it – and not just in my mind.