An interesting thing happened last weekend which I think is worth recounting. My daughter is attending the Australian International Scouting Jamboree which is being held in a town about two hours drive from where we live.
The Jamboree goes for 2 weeks and last Sunday was Open Day for parents and friends.
My ex wife rang me during the week and asked if V and I were attending. I said we were and she asked if she could receive a ride. Now, this in itself was amazing because my ex has never got in the car with me since we separated. In fact, she has constantly put me down, to me, to V, to the kids.
But out of the blue, she asks if she can get a ride to the Jamboree in our car!
Sunday arrived and off we went, the three of us. My ex was charming the whole way. V and she talked about the kids, good and bad, difficulties we’re both having with them, enjoyable anecdotes etc. I’m being very quiet. I thought it best to let them talk among themselves. Besides, I found the whole thing rather unnerving. It was very strange to have them both in the car together.
During the journey the girls needed to stop for a toilet break. While in the bathroom my ex said to V, “M has come a long way since we were married. I knew he had it in him, but you seem to have brought out the best in him. I can’t believe when the kids tell me he cooks all the meals and cleans up the house. It’s so out of character from when we were married. I wish he’d shown that side of himself before.”
V said I was adorable. She went even further and described all the work I do around the house.
Later my ex said to me “V seems to have brought out the best in you. From what I’ve heard, you’re a totally different person to the one I was married to. I hear you’re now doing so much more ... etc.... I shrugged and agreed I had changed somewhat since we were married. I excused this by saying I was very young and ignorant when we were married and that I’d since grown up and seen the errors of my ways. She was my first love. We were school sweethearts and married young.
Anyway, what I’d like to know is this: How many of you are in a second relationship where the ex has subsequently noticed the submissive side of you.? How does she feel about the “new” you and would the marriage have survived if you had been able to activate your submissiveness in that previous relationship. In other words, if you had been able to come clean and admit your submissiveness to your ex when you were married to her, would the relationship have lasted?