I’ve come to a crossroad and our relationship is in a precarious position.
Two weeks ago I ordered Elise Sutton’s book “Female Domination” from America. It arrived in a brown cardboard wrapper on Friday. It’s somewhat larger than I’d imagined it to be – about 300 pages.
Anyway, I started reading it when I got home from work. V was having a rest in the bedroom.
Chapter Two of Ms Sutton’s book is titled “The Superior Sex”. This chapter talks about women possessing the greater strengths – intellectually, emotionally, spiritually and sexually. Her premise is supported by convincing scientific and social research.
By all accounts, it provides an indisputable argument that women are indeed the superior sex and that it’s only a short matter of time before females ascend to the topmost positions of authority in business and politics.
I thought this chapter might appeal to V, particularly some of the research results.
I was wrong.
It seems as though the book itself triggered an eruption in V’s mind. The cover of the book displaying an erotic leather-clad woman didn’t help improve her perception.
“I don’t want to read that stuff.
“This is going too far. I give an inch and you want a mile.
“This isn’t about what I want. It’s about what you want! I want a normal relationship.
“I want to make my own cup of tea. I want to do things for myself.
“What’s happened to the man I married? You’ve turned into a mindless, obsessed moron. That’s not who I fell in love with!”
This is dangerous territory. What’s wrong with me? I’m normally very perceptive. I can normally read people’s reasoning. In business I survive on intuition.
Is my personality changing? Perhaps it is. During the past few weeks, since I’ve become totally self-absorbed with a FLR, I’ve become less socially interactive. I’m no longer interested in small-talk conversation at work. I’m less inclined to seek interaction with friends.
I’ve taken one step forward and now two steps back. Christ, I wish I knew someone who I could confide in, someone who could help guide me through this process. I know there are hundreds of internet sites which provide all sorts of help, but that’s not the same as just talking to someone you trust. And the person I trust most of all, namely my wife, I can’t talk to!
It’s time to back off. My marriage is riding on what I do next. Time to take a deep breath. Let things calm down.
Maybe I’ll show her this blog site. No, not yet. This is my therapy, my refuge. At the moment this is just for me.
In the meantime I’ll surf the net, read other blogs, interact online. Maybe I’ll find some sense in all of this.