My want is to worship you, to serve and obey you, to always put your needs above mine. You are my superior. You are strong, intelligent, sensitive and compassionate. You are Woman and you are beautiful.

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

1st Post - Coming Out

OK. I'm obsessed.

I‘ve been obsessed with the possibility of a female controlled relationship since I stumbled on Elise Sutton’s Female Superiority site only two weeks ago. Since then, I’ve searched every site I could find on female dominated marriage.

That’s not to say I’m new to the Femdom/BDSM scene. In fact, for the past 18 years I’ve fantasized, read about and experimented with female domination.

It’s just that fantasies are one thing; the possibility of a loving, caring relationship which incorporates my fantasy, is something altogether new.

I’d previously surfed the net for information on femdom, although my favourite site was http://www.asstr.org/ which is a collection of sex stories with a large femdom component. While I enjoyed the eroticism of these stories, I never confused them with reality. Such Femdom stories were implausible fantasy – nothing more.

At times I’ve sought to fulfill my submissive fantasies, believing that maybe, just maybe, I might incorporate them into my daily life in some small form, if not 24/7.

I joined a local BDSM club which met monthly, but quickly decided this wasn’t my scene.

Then I met V. That was eight years ago. We've been living together for most of that time and this year we were married in a "fairytale" setting in a Scottish castle.

Early in our relationship I revealed to V my submissive fantasies.

While V thought it was "a bit out there" she was willing to give it a try. For a while we were able to incorporate a combination of vanilla sex and light bdsm.

However, true to form, I pushed the boundaries too far, too quickly, and V lost interest.

Very occasionally over the past eight years she's "played the game" and accommodated my submissive bent. This was only done for my benefit. V got very little pleasure from these play sessions. Not that she thought they were "perverted". It's just that it wasn't her scene.

This has been the steady pattern for most of our relationship - vanilla sex most of the time with the occasional light bdsm play. Otherwise, it's been a very traditional relationship.

Since I stumbled across Elise Sutton's site (and others) a couple of weeks ago, I've harboured a hope that maybe V might be receptive to a "Female-led" relationship.

This weekend I'm going to broach the subject. Lets see how things progress.

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